At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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