That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
