And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Enjoy the penises
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
