I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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