If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
