i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she pinky promised me she was 18
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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