So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
