I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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