i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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