you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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