I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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