There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
