babies were throwing up all over the place
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
