perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
there is glitter all over my balls
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