remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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