but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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