Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize