and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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