i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
