i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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