he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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