i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
