i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
