Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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