kristin has been a bad kristin
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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