Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
