This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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