did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize