No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
