her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
