I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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