he wants to bone in the snuggie
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
