Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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