You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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