Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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