it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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