If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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