We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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