I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
