and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
