I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
