he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
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If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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