It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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