I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
