I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
