Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
