My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
