I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...