Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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