I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
