is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
