pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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