Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
