Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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