she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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