How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
