I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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