For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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