oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize