erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
